Self-consciousness

Mindful Rhythms
6 min readSep 27, 2020

‘Find my ‘ME’ with Vindi Kohli’

@Illustration by Aishwarya Taneja

“Self-consciousness is not knowledge but the story, one tells about oneself”

A few years back, we were renovating our house and we thought of giving names to each one of the rooms, to identify each member’s style sensibility. We decided, instead of having typical names, to let us create innovative illustrations according to their passion/ hobbies.

My niece, who is an illustrator and since she knows our taste and passion, she designed some beautiful illustrations for each one of us.

All my 3 daughters have different skills and tastes. One is passionate about cakes and pets; she created her pictures based on that. Another daughter is a cricketer, so she made the illustration of her holding a bat. And in this way, she had created very innovatively and beautiful according to each one of our hobbies.

As I was passionate about Yoga and meditation, she created my illustration picture doing yoga on the mat, which was so thoughtful and she had tweaked the pic with me holding the phone in one hand which showed me struggling to look at the phone as I have a blur vision if I do not wear my glasses :P.

@Illustration by Aishwarya Taneja

Even though it was so innovative and cute but looking at that, my reaction was extremely negative. I was a little upset and felt so offended seeing that picture. I immediately started defending myself, that am not like this, I do not see the phone while doing mediation and yoga.

Everyone found that it is cool, cute, and funny, but I felt that they all are bullying me and making fun of me. Instead of enjoying the moment of fun and appreciating my picture, I became serious and started giving justification without even anybody demanding it. The laughter became louder again, and I felt like I was a laughingstock and tears filled in my eyes. Everyone in the family started comforting and convincing me to take things in a lighter spirit, rather than taking it so seriously…

But the random thoughts were overtaking my mind, ruining that happy moment. I was more focused or rather concerned about my so-called IMAGE… even when others were taking it lightly- My “Always wanting to have a perfect image” kept on haunting me.

Now you all must be wondering, why am I sharing this incident with you all? This is quite common in all of us. This is called SELF CONSCIOUSNESS. In simple words ‘Self Consciousness is being Conscious of oneself as an individual. It is often associated with shyness and embarrassment, in which case a lack of pride…

Even though that illustration was really beautiful and innovative but I was unable to accept it because I always see myself as a studious, and a very devoted person in my practice what disturbed me was how other people have different perceptions about me. The incident upset me for so many days and I sobbed about what others are thinking about me and that too my own people.

It took us a lot of time to understand how this small incident has disturbed us, We all have a choice to take things lightly and to let go but NO it is the question of our reputation or self-pride. So, what is reputation? It’s entirely what we think of ourselves… What we create in our mind’s eye becomes the reality for us and we start looking at the world with those eyes…

Lots of times we all must have seen or noticed if anyone, either our spouse or children or a very close friend or business associate, comment on us which we do not expect and when they comment, we become very conscious because we are not aware of those facts or situations. So, therefore, SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS IS a LACK OF AWARENESS OF OUR ACTS AND ACCEPTANCE OF OUR DEEDS.

The people who are conscious of themselves will have sometimes low self-esteem as well. They are obsessed with their looks and actions based on other people’s opinions.

They are always busy in their own judgment and this self-criticism creates insecurities and makes them sensitive.

Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You do not know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem — then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you — it is irrelevant!

You might feel that it is funny but that is the fact that sometimes when we are so much worried about our image then we start assuming things. No one has time to even think so much which we all sit and break our head in all these petty things in our lives and end up spoiling our health, relationship, and our inner peace.

These unhealthy self-conscious emotions result in social anxiety and lead to isolation sometimes because we become self-defensive, always react to the situation in pursuit of trying to prove us right.

A self-conscious person always wears a mask in public trying to hide their identity and becoming someone just to please the crowd and gain self-appreciation. In pursuit of this, we fail to realize that by hiding our identity we miss the opportunity to connect with other people on heart to heart level and we miss those beautiful present moments, that actually can give us much more happiness…

Thus, it takes a lifetime for all of us to fully accept ourselves without caring about reactions and judgements of others. I wish we learn early to accept ourselves unconditionally to be genuinely happy.

How can we remove these fake masks?

Identify your Self-conscious triggers — It can be your appearance, your accent, your intellectual disabilities, and so many factors like this. Identify what it is which you get disturbed, write it in a journal or talk to someone.

Challenge your negative thoughts. Have a reality check. Manage your reactions. These all can happen once you know yourself fully, try to bully yourself, or make fun of yourself. Work on yourself, build your self-confidence, be truthful, be yourself, and work on changing the inner YOU.

The most important thing is to ‘BE AWARE’ and identify your thought patterns. Try to redirect your attention.

“CHANGE yourself and the world will CHANGE.”

“The world is a mirror, defined what WE THINK and what WE ARE.

“Life is all about ME so find your ME as soon as possible.”

Do you resonate with my story? Please do comment and to know more please follow our page on Facebook — Find My Me

Find my ‘ME’ journey. It is all about Loving yourself, exploring yourself, Learning and An Action taking platform. If anyone of you needs to know more about it please do send me a message, and I will get back to you.

I am Vindi Kohli, A Lifestyle Mentor, A Mind Healer and I am here to help you identify your true self, to achieve Inner Peace, Inner Health, Love and Faith in your Life.

Thank you so much

Lots of love and Affection💕😊

Vandana Raj — (Pen name — Vindi Kohli)😊

An Author ||A Life Designer ||Mentor ||Counsellor

Read my book Find my ‘ME’ 👇🏼👇🏼

FIND MY ‘ME’: A Journey to Self-Discovery https://www.amazon.in/dp/1639404481/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_glt_fabc_2PT7WE4VHNF4RQRB2EHT

https://vandanakohli.lpages.co/find-my-me-book/

Do Follow us on 👇🏼

Facebook group- www.facebook.com/groups/980333792388697/

Facebook page — https://www.facebook.com/selfhealingwithVindi

Instagram Link — https://www.instagram.com/vindi_kohli/

YouTube link for Meditation and videos ….

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgqEgH8cnHJ1L0-bnByN6eQ

Any Questions — Email us- at connect@vindikohli.com

WRITTEN BY —

Vindi Kohli

I am a founder of the ‘Find My ‘ME’ Holistic Healing Retreat, a Journey to Self-Discovery.

I’m on a mission to Aspire to Empower at least 1 million Working Professionals to get clarity in finding their True Inner Purpose by using the R.H.Y.T.H.M Mind model.

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Mindful Rhythms

A founder of Find My ‘ME’ a Holistic Healing Retreat. She is here to identify the True version of yourself & help you to Find the Inner Purpose of your life.